Sex your way to the fighting top


“No Sex. No Sex. Bad for you!”

I still hear Kaewsamrit’s Madam preach to me after I asked her why I never saw a girl in the fighters rooms. Ouch! Before I knew it, I was surrounded by a puddle of Thai trainers and some fighters, all swearing by the no sex clause. “Make you weak. Thai girls, no good”. All the trainers were wholeheartedly agreeing with their employer.

But I suspect several of them were just trying to get on a good page with the camp manager’s wife. Their words and macro body language supported the lady of the house but the barely noticeable tensed muscles in their faces unveiled other opinions. Without words, most of the fighters and trainers around me seemed to shout: shut the fuck up! Do but don’t say. Another possibility might be that they were still torn between what tradition told them to do and what they wanted to do. Afterwards, one of the trainers took me aside. “Don’t talk about those things. Madam will be more alerted now and that means trouble for us all!” Damn, I was fucking up their style. Once again I learned that, sometimes, it‘s better to not bring things out in the open. But the question I kept asking myself was:

Is there any value in this old tradition in combat sports?

I am not the kind of man who blindly follows tradition. I have to admit, I never refrained myself too much. I tried to keep my pants on a few times but the tension these clothes create around my body, influences my environment. In short, without some relaxing time I become a real difficult person to live with during pre fight week. I consider the stress created in your personal relations more detrimental to my fight performance. In my view a fighter should be in a calm pre fight mental state in order to battle up to her or his potential. So clearly, my personal believe is that I believe that deep but not too athletic lovemaking relaxes you and good for your performance in the ring or cage.

So whenever my girl(s) were with me the night before a fight, we always went through the same ritual. After the weigh-in, I started eating and drinking, we would go out for dinner and have a nice time with Mario (my trainer), the other fighters and trainers. Laughing is a good way to clear your head. After that, we’d return to our sleeping quarters and my lady would starts massaging me all over to get my muscles loose and fresh for the next day. And naturally, with all this loving touch, more caressing follows. I make sure, however, that in these intimate moments, I don’t try to be the top stallion in a porn star stable. In other words, I do not do too much of the rocking. My girls and I have an understanding about that. Most of the times, sex is an exhilarating flow in which we both lose ourselves in each other without too many rules and overflowing roles. But on pre-fight night, I will only be the poor subject of her lust and desire. It is all good, as long as I lay on my back. And how do I perform after such a fulfilling evening? In the ring, that is.

Well, it seems that when I am showered with feminine energy the night before, the ring becomes mine. Up until now, sex has always seemed to enhance my capabilities.



 And I am not the only fighter who experienced the sweetness of the beautiful love-fight combination. Apparently, top fighters like Sugar Ray Leonard, Tito Ortiz and Chuck Liddell are also known to be pre fight humpers. Even when you go back in time you find people who support the premis: “first make love, then fight better”: The Romans (orgy minded as they were) even believed that love-making could revitalize an athlete when he had become sluggish.



Their views stands in sharp contrast to that from the older dominant European culture: the ancient Greeks. For them and for boxing greats like Muhammad Ali, Cus D’Amato and current heroes like Manny Pacquiao and George Saint Pierre, pre -fight sex is a big taboo. Together, they represent the traditional “chastity before the battle” corner. In their view, sexual activity drains energy, pushes down testosterone and relinquishes aggression in men.


But what does pre-fight sex do to women?
A sample experiment by ESPN hints that, for women, it could have the opposite effect. The measurements showed a whopping 30% increase in punching power and higher testosterone levels the day after sex compared to the day after abstinence.

Is this a pseudo scientific (Do not get me started on this issue, yet) manifestation of the Eastern Yin – Yang principle. Does the female Yin get fired up by the Yang energy she receives from the male? I do not know.

But if that is true, the insertion of Yin energy also seems to pump up the Yang energy in man. Indeed, also in the male, testosterone seems to be higher the night after a sensual encounter. These results could be due to pure chance. The two persons tested in the show can never be representative for the entire fight population and one measurement in time says little. Furthermore, television is known to misrepresent science results to spice things up a bit.

However, also in the rigorous scientific world, similar results are found. Perhaps less impressive than a 30 % increase in performance, Dr. Boone found no performance difference in his treadmill experiment between people who refrained from sex and people who did fuck. When you add psychologist B. . Komisaruk’s research findings, a coach should stimulate female fighters to find a skillful sex partner. He showed that for women, sexual activity can help combat muscle pain or other sports injuries. He found that sexual stimulation produces a powerful pain-blocking effect that can last for up to a day in the case of chronic pain such as muscle pain. More research is necessary to establish if this also is the case with men.

We can find an even more impressive validation off the ESPN’s show in E.A. Jannini’s endocrinal research. She found that sex boosts testosterone levels in humans. As a result, the statement that sex drops testosterone in men is a myth. Even worse, after three months without shagging, testosterone dramatically drops to levels close to children’s levels. Damn! I mean, do you want to become a hormonal child?

ImageWhen we look at the animal world, it seems to supports to the “let’ get funky the night before” – corner. For example, M. Muller and W. Wragham examined the relationship between testosterone and aggression in our genetic nearest cousins: the Chimpanzee. They predicted and found that male-male aggression increased with a receptive and fertile female around, shaking her ass. This supports the tradition of the ring ladies. So be aware, feminists, those barely dressed ring girls are not a way to supplicate women but to make fighters more ready to fight.

Furthermore, different studies showed that more dominant males also had higher testosterone levels than lower status chimps. And in chimp commonalities, it is the alpha that ends up getting the females, being the most aggressive. In his article “Testosterone and human aggression: an evaluation of the challenge hypothesis”, Doctor John Archer states that many testosterone/human behavior studies show a somewhat similar pattern in people.

However, our other biologically close nieces, the Bonobo chimps can be used to support the no sex- clause. These apes have a different system. I refer to them as nieces because the females rule the pack together. Perhaps, I’d better call them the natural children of love as there is a lot of loving and almost no fighting. And when I say a lot of loving, I mean loads.

Saying “hi, how are you” means: dipping it! “What are we going to eat?” is communicated by: dipping it! “What are we going to do next?” Dipping it! Furthermore, these natural hippies also are renowned for their low incidence of violent encounters.

ImagePerhaps, that is the solution to society’s problems. Men: hand over your positions of power to the women. Ladies: hand over your reservations and rules on who you sleep with and when Become available and make the world a more beautiful place. You will see: happy people and world peace will appear. But althought the human race seems to be somewhat of a go-between dividing chimps and bonobos concerning sex and aggression: I fear that the idea of a peaceful and sexual open world is not going to happen soon. 

Traditionally, we were thought to be closer to chimps but recent research has indicated that genetically we differ equally from both apes: only 1,3 percent. It is not surprising that this assumption was taken, when you look at all the partner violence, child abuse, wars and murders that torment people.

ImageHuman cultures have had features of both bonobo and chimp- like troupes. When you compare ancient Hawaiian culture and the ways of the Mongolian tribes a larger difference is hard to imagine. But is it the difference of gender centrality that explains the peaceful, matriarchic (A matriarchy is a society in which females, especially mothers, have the central roles of political leadership, moral authority, and control of property (source: Wikipedia). sexually free life in paradise and the war-centered, male dominated life on the dry steps of Mongolia?


When we investigate anthropology and history, it shows us that matriarchy does not guarantee sexual freedom or peace.

ImageLet’s think for example about the Greek legend of the Amazons, fierce warrior-women that dominated their men. ( Or think about how Herodotus described the Sarmatian matriarchal society. “They have continued from that day to the present to observe their ancient [Amazon] customs, frequently hunting on horseback with their husbands; in war taking the field; and wearing the very same dress as the men” Moreover, said Herodotus, “No girl shall wed till she has killed a man in battle. (Source:”. Several Native American tribes were also renowned for their powerful female killers. Indeed, when you were for example an Iroquois, Cherokee, Crow, Sioux or Apache, you’d better make sure you don’t hang on the pipe to long before coming home. (source:


Also In Africa, there were the Lovedu tribe, the Habe, Herero and other tribes who were ruled by fierce Warrior queens. (source:

In recent times also, certain tribes like the African Aka have female hunters and fighters ( Here, like in the Native American tribes a more egalitarian system between the sexes seems to rule. Apparently, right now, a group of women in Ukrain are trying to revive the tribal traditions of the Scythian Amazons of ancient Greek mythology. They call themselves the Asgarda, they train in martial arts and learn life skills and sciences in order to become ideal women. Do we have to be afraid? What would happen if all women would join in? We men, globally at least, are a minority. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Would you want to be used just for sex and… Well,…, let’s get back to business.

The question I want to ask you ladies and gentlemen: “Do these women sound peaceful to you?”
Indeed, we can observe much more possibilities in our male and female behavior than in our cousins and nieces. Perhaps this has something to do with our great capacity for learning and adapting to the environment. These findings all suggest that the role of nurture (the surroundings) in humans is larger than in most animals. Although certain animals are also known for their different cultures and practices. Think about the different ways killer whale groups hunt. Some aim for large fish, some jump on the beach and pull seals back in the water and others even hunt down sharks.

So perhaps it is not too dumb to suggest that like with our monkey relatives the environment has a large influence on the level of aggressiveness and sexual openness in the troupe. It is thought that in environments where a lot of travel and effort is needed to attain food and protect the group, more aggressive attributes come forth. In such a world the chimps and Mongolian had to survive. Without their aggressiveness they would probably get extinct. However when you live in a “Garden of Eden” on earth, like the bonobos and ancient Hawaii, the opposite shines trough. There’s food and water in abundance and there are few natural predators. In such situations, females appear to become more central and peace and love open ups up to the troop…

This doesn’t sound too illogical. In a world of abundance, nobody has a problem with sharing and there is no need to fight over precious goods. And indeed, if you see how women and men often react to each other, the mindset of a “starvation economy” is apparent. The billion dollar cosmetics business, the hours of overwork to be able to afford a humongous house and great cars, the cat fights and bar brawls over a (potential) partner, … are all signs of this underlying assumption in the human world.

However, if we follow this path of reasoning, it can explain what is happening in the Western world. A revolution is happening: Emancipation, a shake-up of traditional gender roles and an explosion of alternative intimate relationships and lifestyles. This is particularly apparent with people who do not have to worry that much about their survival and who have the advantage of higher education. So, at least for them, perhaps peace and openness are coming. However, all those people suffering in poorness with only a small supply of necessary means have little choice but to resort in more competitive and aggressive ways. That is perhaps the reason that so much of boxing greats come from challenging life situations. They have to. They must fight to break trough to abundance.

Following this reasoning, a writer of a mma article wrote: “Fighting by its very nature isn’t done by those already satisfied; it’s done by those who demand satisfaction in a way most of us will never know. Sex before a fight doesn’t weaken a fighter physically, it weakens them mentally. If sex is our main imperative as a race, and we have sex before a fight, one of our primary drives as human beings has already been fulfilled, and that “bleeds” over into the performance in the ring.”


I can understand her reasoning but with that psychological argument, she gets on my turf. The physiological detriment claimed by the abstination believers is unfounded, according to Ian Shrier, a sports medicine specialist from Canada. However, the psychological effects have not been properly studied yet.

I cannot wipe out the psychological argument for “NO SEX!” with clear results from psychological research. As with everything in psychology, the matter is very complex and little can b e found to enlighten the issue.

This being said I will try to explain my vision based on sport psychology and logical reasoning.
We know indeed that sex releases various chemicals that often produce a good mood and a satisfied mind. But it is not because we have a satisfied mind now, that we are unaware that this can change in a sec.

As with chimps, freebooters are always ready to take our place so we’ll have to fight and work hard to remain the Alpha in our ladies’ mind. Think again about the dominant and aggressive behavior of the leader of the chimp pack. He has time to slack or he will lose his continuous access to those sweet peaches and those good hormones.

What is more, suppose you are mentally all fired up. This feeling of drive can also be called “frustration”. And this has his serious drawbacks. Yes, sexual frustration is a kind of negative stress which has serious consequences. First of all, you get angry and are not the nicest person to be around. So if this happens too often, say goodbye to your social support! And research shows that this is one of the most important things to bolster you against the negative effects of stress. And the downhill spiral is on!

Furthermore, if you fight regularly and go for the no-sex habit, you will have to refrain from sex many months a year. Besides the negative physical consequences, this frustration can transform into a helplessness and even depression. And then you can wave your motivation to train goodbye. Remember, you take the risk of losing your manliness if you refrain from sex for too long. Off course, I am not painting a neutral picture here. I will try to give a bit more balanced perspective.

Most self restricting fighters only stop having sex about a week before the fight. This means that many of the long term negative consequences can off course be mitigated. But the frustration will probably still be there. As I stated before said, this often leads to anger. Now, who do you think a top martial artist or pro boxer would like to fight: An angry, frustrated guy or a relaxed but focused man?
The problem is indeed that when people get too charged up this has negative effects. The human attention span tightens up like the sphincter that tries to stop diarrhea from bursting out. Also the muscles get overly tense. This creates a drop in coordination, speed and before you know it: an empty feeling. I am not saying that all fighters need to be completely relaxed like that. Every person has to find the right balance between relaxation and explosiveness. Fighting when you are totally limp can pose some problems and research also pointed out that a certain amount of higher arousal (physical and mental activation helps sportsmen and women to have more explosive power.
In my opinion, Ron Rovers (one of the best boxing trainers I ever encountered and a driving force behind the success of top kickboxers Peter Aerts and Andy souwer) always told me: Be ready! Have a relaxed mind in a sharp body. In my opinion, he’s got it right.
Indeed, the ideal fighting situation is that of flow. This is a situation where the demands of the fight are equal to your capacities to deal with them. Therefore an optimal activation level of your body is required. That means that your arousal and thus attention span should be on a level where you see your entire opponent, where you are calm, alert and ready to react at the perfect moment.
For some people, sex can help with that relaxed mind. You can enjoy the spoils of the hormone Oxytocin and other opioids and endorphins. These hormones establish feelings of attachment, trust and affection. They make us feel happy and indeed calm. But that is a GOOD thing.


Think about extraordinary fighters like Roy Jones jr. , Prince Naseem, Somrak Kahmsing, Samart Kiatmontep, Anderson Silva and Fedor. I am not saying they were doing the crazy rabbit dance before fighting, but you can see how their sharp but calm style dominated their opponents. It is just a job to be done: making their opponents fall like nuts in the fall. And if sex does one thing: it relaxes you. So you could think: I just sex my way to the top.


Don’t go out running after your bananas and prunes with the excuse that it makes you a better fighter yet. There is more to the issue. At least, for us men. For you women, get out and flood yourselves with the wonderful feelings that come with higher testosterone, endorphins and Oxytocin. Enjoy!

But men, there can be negative effects to sex for you guys. It is not the sex, nor the orgasm that can deplete you. It is the drawback that comes with (too much) ejaculation. For example, Dr. MD Richards tells us that the positive effects on our androgen hormone levels (testosterone) only happen hours after ejaculation.

So if you go through multiple ejaculation sessions for a short amount of time you will exhaust your body and it will be not able to produce sufficient hormones that restore proper bodily function and your immune system. Indeed, getting funky too much robes you from important juices like dopamine and serotonin that in the long run even can result in nervous, liver, kidney, cardiovascular and endocrine disorders. If your hormone system is over-discharged, it won’t recharge by itself. That is also what happens with those guys who take steroids for too long: they end up needing testosterone replacement therapy.

When you ejaculate, you squirt out some zinc, calcium, potassium, numerous supporting enzymes and other important chemicals for our bodily function. If you keep on squirting too much you will notice your bodily disharmony in attention deficiencies, memory loss and problems with concentration. Above that, tiredness, exhaustion and weakness in muscles can follow. Even hair loss, cardiovascular problems, excessive sweating, vision and hearing problems, depression, mood swings, impotence and a disappearance of libido are possible consequences. 

For women on the other hand, the effects are not that dire. High quality semen may even re-nourish women through vaginal absorption. Life is just not fair. I mean, sex only seems to have good effects for women. When they meet a man that knows how to capture their mind, soul and body, they seem to be insatiable. Most of you girls can keep on enjoying wave after wave of exhilarating orgasmic energy while most men… Well, I don’t have to tell you about most men. Perhaps you now understand why male dominated societies have restricted sexual conduct like that. We feel mistreated by nature! Why do you think so many men behave so nasty towards women? 

However, ladies, too much is also not good for you. Because it seems that a constant blasting of your holy cave with seminal fluids can result in: immune suppression, inflammation, hypersensitivity, and even infertility. But off course, condoms can help you girls out. 

So get out and enjoy life! And if you are sensual, athletic, walk on long legs, are optimistic and like to laugh, dance, eat good food, refrain from smoking, don’t continually stuff your face with junk food, are open minded and enjoy life. We have to meet. Contact me!

Now, before you traditionalists start shouting: you see! Sex is no good. It DOES make you WEAK. Read my lips: these are the negative effects of having TOO much sex. Or rather, we should say: There are negative effects in ejaculating too much. 

In Taoist and Tantric Eastern traditions, it is widely accepted that ejaculation is bad for men but orgasms are very, very good. These teachings say that too much ejaculation will drain you of your chi energy, your life energy. In this, they agree with Ali and GSP.

Now, Taoist masters have developed different formulas for how many times a man can eject his load. For example, Mantak Chia and Maneewa Chia mention in their book “The multiorgasmic couple”:
• A man of twenty can ejaculate once every four days.
• A man of thirty can ejaculate once every eight days.
• A man of forty can ejaculate once every ten days.
• A man of fifty can ejaculate once every twenty days.
• A man of sixty should not ejaculate

“WHAT? So little sex”, I hear you scream.

No, that is not what I wrote. I said that the ancient Eastern wisdom says: restrict your ejaculations.
“But, sex without orgasm. That is like putting a piece of grass fed meat in the mouth of a starving dog but not allowing him to swallow it. That is what one can call: hell on earth.”. SHUT UP for a second. I did not say no orgasm, I said no ejaculation: learn to have dry orgasms. Yes, it is possible to divide orgasm from ejaculation and this possibility is well documented.

For a classic, what I will call “wet orgasm” , the renowned sex investigators Masters and Johnson found a recurring pattern that they called the sexual response cycle.

They defined the four stages of this cycle as:

Faze I: The excitement phase. This starts with a sexual thought and/or stimulation of the penis / vagina. Blood starts to flow to the designated areas and the penis gets erect. After enough stimulation people get to phase 2. Sadly for some men, this happens almost instantaneously or they even skip this phase. If you take into account that this phase usually takes longer for most women this is even sadder.

Faze II: The plateau phase. This is a state of full arousal. You are hot and steamy but not yet reaching orgasm. Your heart is pounding like an African drum, your lungs pump fast and shallow like a pan flute and you start feeling the rush reddening up your head. At the end of this phase, which can last from a few seconds to several hours for some men, phase 3 starts to set in.

Faze III: Orgasm.
In men, classically this happens in two phases.

  1. Extraction: Your pelvic muscles start panting and pump the sperm from the testicles to your prostate. Here it merges with prostate fluid into semen. Once this happens, there is no way to stop your ejaculation.
  2. Expulsion: Your pelvic muscles keep on pumping and run your semen trough your piss tube into its recipient. The lady that can absorb your good chemicals, the condom who safes you from unwanted pregnancy and disease, your hand or even more sadly your pants. After 5 seconds and 10 to 15 contractions it is all over and the fourth phase starts.

In women, ejaculation can also happen which is also called squirting.You can read more about that here: . For those who want to know how to explore this with your partner(s) yourself, check For most women who are able to ejaculate, the loss of fluid does not seem to have the same desensitizing effect as for men. This is surprising if you see the amount of fluid that gushes out when you pump that sweet fluid out with the right technique. But that is a different issue all together. Back to the fight theme.

However most women that can have orgasms do not share their fluid and are multiorgasmic so I will talk a bit more about that in the next section.
After ejaculation, the resolution phase starts.

• Faze IV: The resolution phase (after orgasm): Here, your arousal takes a dip (for some a dive or even a freefall). If he is not one of the frustrated guys, he feels good and ,apparently, most men just want to dose off.

For most men and some women, this goes hand in hand with the refractory period. Often, it is physiologically impossible for an individual to immediately have an additional orgasm. Most men are unable to maintain or achieve an erection during this time. This annoyance is caused by some hormones that are released during ejaculation: Oxytocin and Prolactin.

The latter hormone represses dopamine, which is responsible for sexual arousal. As a gift from nature, most women do not experience such a refractory period immediately after orgasm. In many cases they are even capable of attaining additional, multiple orgasms through further stimulation. This can cause a lot of frustration and sometimes disappointment can come up. However, the female sexual response is more varied than that of men, and there are many women who experience clitoral hypersensitivity after orgasm, which effectively creates a refractory period. In the graph below you can see the pattern with a single and with multiple orgasms.

Some men have the same gift and are capable to have multiple orgasms with no or little refraction, with or without the typical sequence of ejaculation and refractory period. Some of those men report not noticing refractory periods, or are able to maintain erection by “sustaining sexual activity with a full erection until they passed their refractory time for orgasm when they proceeded to have a second or third orgasm”.
Apparently each man can train himself to give himself and his woman this gift. But it is not an easy task and means learning how to divide the orgasm from ejaculation. It comes down to training yourself to have dry orgasms.

Now, what is a dry orgasm? A ‘dry orgasm’ is when a man reaches sexual climax but does not ejaculate – no fluid emerges from the penis. In preadolescent boys, multiorgasmic dry experiences happen regularly but when they come of age, most men lose this ability. Grown men however, can get an orgasm where no fluid comes out but still the refractory period sets in. That happens when there is an interjected ejaculation where the semen does not leave the prostate. Then the semen will leave the body when men take the next piss. As soon as the semen leaves the balls, the limp making hormones are injected trough the body, saying goodbye stacking of orgasms and exhilarating endorphins.

According to Kahn (1939), research shows that there are men who have reported having multiple, consecutive orgasms, particularly without spitting their life juice out. He reported that some men are able to masturbate for hours at a time, achieving orgasm many times and that some men have been multiorgasmic since they can recall. More interesting, he mentions that others learned to achieve multiple orgasms.

But how?

One technique for refraining from ejaculation is to put pressure on the perineum just before ejacuating -.. This is a place halfway between the hanging flesh of your sack and your anal cavity- to prevent squirting everything out. In Taoist writings they call this the million dollar point because apparently much was paid to the Taoist masters by emperors and other wealthy persons to disclose the point to them. This can, however, lead to retrograde ejaculation, i.e., redirecting semen into the urinary bladder rather than through the urethra to the outside so the advantages of the “dry orgasm” are gone with the wind.

Other techniques are apparently similar to reports by multi-orgasmic women indicating that they must relax and “let go” to experience multiple orgasms. Training manuals that I found were good and, at least, an interesting read: The multi-orgastic man or the multi-orgastic couple (Mantak Chia e.a.) and Ultimate ejaculation mastery (Tantra at Tahoe).

However, it is hard, laborious and (believe me) sometimes very frustrating work retraining your body. We are so used to push ourselves toward orgasm because it feels so fucking wonderful. But based on the reports I read, when you attain it, the reward is worth all your trouble and more.

So physically, sex is good for you as long as you do not overdo it. On the long run, many health benefits can be found. For example, a 1997 study with 918 men age 45–59 established that after a ten year follow-up, men who had fewer orgasms were twice as likely to die of any cause as those having two or more orgasms a week And in 2001, a follow up showed that having sex three or more times a week was associated with a 50% reduction in the risk of heart attack or stroke. Sex also leads to lower diastolic blood pressure, lower stress hormone levels, higher levels of immunoglobin A (which is your bodies guard against colds and other infections) and lower pain (so for sure do it after your fights or tough trainings). And for men, off course, there is a lower risk to get prostate cancer later in live. It also helps to lengthen your resistance to incontinence and peeing in your pants later in life as it strengthens the pelvic floor. As a psychologist I cannot leave out the positive effects it has on boosting self-esteem, deeper intimacy and better relationships, a feeling of generosity (due to higher Oxytocin, And last but not least, it helps you sleep better.

If you believe in the teachings of Tantric and Taoist scholars, there are additional health-, social- and psychological advantages. You get more focused, are flooded with extra energy and look better. And such sexual experiences are part of these Eastern paths to Nirvanna so these practices can even bring you closer to enlightenment.I do not know if these claims are true but I agree with the advocates of tantric and neotantric sex on a different issue. They claim that in Western culture there is too much of a focus on the goal of climactic orgasm, which reduces the ability to have intense pleasure during other moments of the sexual experience. Many people’s brains seem to be porn-washed.

For those who are up for the challenge to get multiorgastic there is a major tip: Strengthen your pubococcygeus muscles (PC-muscles) which are the bridge between your genitalia and the remains of your monkey tail ancestors. You can learn how to isolate it when you go to the bathroom and urinate. Stop it. Taoist writings give you the advice to stop it at least 3 times each session.

Then if you know somebody who is pregnant, you can join her in her Kegel exercises which are aimed at the same muscle group. This is good for her tightness and for your ability to sustain your erection and prevent premature ejaculation (that means before your women has achieved orgasm, you lose your self control). Indeed, ladies, these exercises also have benefits for you. First of all it enables you to clamp your man’s stick so he can’t go running, it makes you tighter and can intensify your orgasms because the contractions that drive the orgasmic waves through your body will be performed by stronger muscles.
A possible training regimen can be

Do 50 Kegels every other day. This means, contract your PC muscle for one to five seconds, depending on the strength of your PC muscle. With more exercise and experience, your PC muscle will become much stronger and your Kegels will last much longer. With time you can expand your training regimen and even to start incorporate penile lifting. Work up to five to ten minutes a day, four days a week. You even can go as far as the guy on the picture.


But I would like to advice you guys and girls just to forget the bricks for a while and begin penile lifting with a hard on and a wet wash cloth, gradually build it up to a wet towel, and then you can perhaps start doing real weighted lifts. Because, otherwise, you are setting yourself up for the wrong kind of penile stiffness and even PC cramps. For women, you can also do vaginal lifting. Ask any Thai “ping pong” show lady what you can do when you develop these muscles to that extreme.

But the kegels are a good place to start and are fairly easy to do, since you can do them anywhere, anytime. Many penile exercisers do them on their morning commute to work, for example.

Furthermore, men, if you want to want to shorten the time before you can get hard again you can use the penile exercise that is called jelqing, which comes down to performing a milking movement like you milk a cow’s tits (with lubrication) for at least 20 minutes a day which floods your penile veins with blood and according to the writers strengthens your erection and boost your penis size and girth. I do not know if these last claims are true but It sounds logical that this exercise can improve the blood flow capacity of the penis.

To get really multiorgasmic however, this it is not enough. Without knowing when and how to use your newly established power, you have nothing. Compare it with having incredible punching power but horrible timing. Before you know it, you opponent will have you flat on the floor.

So: how to develop the proper way to do it. There are various possibilities but Tantra At Tahoe’s book catches it all in the acronym RAMPER. This is a reminder for the six steps to become that multiorgasmic guy who experiences whole body and perhaps even esoteric-like orgasmic experiences. Also women can use these exercises to deepen, widen and strengthen their orgasms. For some women who cannot enjoy orgasms, the PC exercises and the RAMPER steps also heighten your chance for that wonderful feeling of bliss.

R stands for RELAX. I think this is the most important thing in the whole thing. Relax, it is not that important, just chill and enjoy. You can do this by creating the right scene, performing deep belly breaths and listening to rhythmic music. Relaxing gives you the chances to also let your toughs go and get into the moment and the second letter A from AWARENESS.

For those who know how to meditate or who are proponents of mindfulness practice, this should be fairly easy. Notice what you feel, see, smell, hear, taste. Be attentive to what happens now and let your thoughts go. The next letter can only be attained if the first two are reached: M for MEASURE.

You have to learn to know where you are at every given moment on the scale from 1 (light tingling at the base of the penis when you first notice a bit of arousal /attraction) to 10 ejaculation. Before you can develop the right timing, it is necessary to learn to know the signs that show you where you are on the scale. A few tips: the hotter you get, the faster and more shallow your breathing gets and the faster your heartbeat pumps. Also your muscles tense up more and you will start blushing.

The secret is to PACE yourself and learn how you can hover for an extended period between 8.5 and 9.8. In the beginning you stop all motion and when you calmed down you start moving slowly again. Do not be surprised if you push yourself over regularly in the beginning, it is a tough habit to break but it can be done. After a while the time you have to stop gets shorter and shorter or you can just break the movement pattern and make different strokes with your paint brush.

According to Tantric and Taoist writers the true secret of multiorgasmic mastery lays within ENERGY CIRCULATION trough your body so the energy flows away trough your body and perhaps beyond so you can RIDE THE orgasmic WAVE. This comes down to a reprogramming of your body’s reactions by becoming more sensitive by purposive attention to small sensations and visualizing the sexual, hot energy flow up from your pelvic region towards your head and beyond and in Taoism back down to your belly where you can store the refined sexual energy.

(For those who do not want to do the hard work, there might be a solution coming up: the Dry orgasm’ pill. However although the work of Drs. Amobi and Smith seems promising, the question remains if it attains the same sexual benefits as the trained dry orgasm.)

Many do indeed rapport this effect but I suspect a different cause.

Scientific theory teaches us that it is not because two variables (a variable is everything that can vary over time) regularly appear together that the one causes the other. For the moment, I will not go too deep into this but there are always several other explanations possible. In this case, I think a third variable can be the wrongdoer.

Variable I                                        Variable II
  SEX                                PERFORMANCE IN SPORTS
No Sex                               Good performance in sports
  Sex                                  Bad performance in sports

However, enough about the physical part, back to my nuts and meat (This man is not a believer in bread and butter): the human psyche.

Much less is known about the psychological effects of sex on athletic performance. Some experts say coaches may be favoring the abstinence theory simply because they want to make sure young athletes get enough sleep before a big game. Psychologists have shown there is an optimal level of alertness and anxiety that is necessary to produce the best possible performance. Too much anxiety or too much aggression may result in poor performance.

In later posts, I will talk about flow and techniques to attain this mental state where everything seems to go automatically and your body seems to perform perfectly. It is a situation where your body’s activation and your skills are perfectly matched with the task at hand. But for now, I can tell you that the Eastern sexual practices can have added benefits to attain such a flow state.

For example, the relaxation and awareness techniques can help you achieve the mentioned flow state because it has much in common with mindfulness practice. The visualization of energy circulation can have the added benefit that you improve your visualization capacities which can help you in technique and strategy acquirement, stress management and mental pre-fight preparation. However, it is important to point out a basic principle in psychological sport preparation. If you want to change your normal routine, don’t do it impulsively.

If you have several fights below your belt, you have programmed your mind to go through these routines and mentally get prepared before a fight.

So if you want to introduce a new aspect to your routine, start introducing it at least 6 weeks in advance. At week 3 and week 5 I would plan a “simulation” training where you imitate the fight. You add spectators to your training, prepare like you would do before a fight (stretching, focusing exercises, warm up, massage, putting on bandages for strikers or the gi for bjj practitioners), go through your entrance routine (with the same music and timing), then do a sparring or a circuit training that is at least as demanding of your physique and focusing ability. You could for example do 3 rounds of 5 minutes of a mix of sprawl drills, pad work, evasion drills, … for mma. If you want to add tantric or Taoist sex to your pre-fight routine then enjoy this also the night before the simulation trainings.

An alternative is that you also join a competition that is not immediately your main goal. As BJJ competitor you can for example try out a judo or Japanese Jiu-jitsu tournament, a kickboxer can perform a Boxing or Savate match or an MMA fighter a Sanda fight. Hence, you can look at this as quasi “simulation” training. Off course, this is only an option if you have no fight planned for the next few months.

If you want to follow both the “put on your chastity belt “and the “hump-your –stress away” opinions: try out the Eastern sex practice. I have to warn you: it can be a frustrating learning curve. You will regularly slip over the point of no return. Fight. As a last minute solution, you can use your finger to apply pressure on the perineum as a last resort to retain your semen and power. Anyway, if you think that this would really frustrate you, then just have regular sex or no sex at all before the fight. The writers mention that, depending on your practice regimen, it takes three months up to a year to experience consistent multiple orgasms. So, do not worry.

Furthermore, some strange physical changes can come with the practice of dry orgasms like light headaches, a feeling of restlessness, and pressure in your genital area. The authors offer ways to handle these effects and mention that these will subside soon. You see, even more reason not to start with the sexual training regimen if you have a fight next week.

I have not yet touched appoint that can be an explanation for the long no sex tradition.
Problems with partners (stress, the “I want more attention”-syndrome, fights, jealousy,…) or the hunt for potential partners (going out, staying up late and perhaps drinking) are not ideal circumstances for a fighter.

I think that is why traditionally you would not see any marriageable girls in a Muay Thai camp and why fighters in many gyms have to choose: having a girlfriend or fighting. The camp’s owner and trainers know how much hassle intimate contacts and relationships can bring forth. So, as they want to protect their investment, they banish the possibility of all those problems completely.

But off course, by that, they also banish a very important part of life and happiness. So, what do we learn from their position. Get your life in order and learn how to manage the dos and don’ts in your relationships, fighting and broader life.

So what will we conclude?

There is no scientific evidence that sex would be bad before a fight. The opposite is true, it boosts testosterone, can lower your pain threshold and even improve your power. Following Eastern medicine (Taoist), you should develop the skills to divide your orgasm and ejaculation so you can enjoy multiple, dry orgasms. So go ahead and sex your way to the top.

But if you believe in the no sex clause, keep doing it. The power of belief can take you a long way.

Stay intelligent, fight smart and enjoy life!

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